My Happiness Project - Thank you, Gretchen Rubin!

 

One of the more enjoyable activities while working on this book proposal has been the weekly trip to Barnes and Noble at Emery Bay to peruse books with similar ideas as Vacation at Home and note the publishers. The best part of the outing is sitting in front of the faux fire with a baked good and mocha from the little café and looking through some of the books, deciding which ones I would like to read.

I have gathered quite a few books and have just finished reading Gretchen Rubin’s, The Happiness Project and I loved it! I am so inspired I am going to create my own. In her introduction, she suggests identifying concrete actions that will boost your happiness, followed by keeping your resolutions. In the last chapter, at the end of her happiness project, she said that the single most effective step in her happiness project was her Resolutions Chart. My heart sank. I don’t like resolutions. I’ve never been very goal oriented. I put the book down. This won’t work for me.

But then I read her simple questions which are the basis for a Resolutions Chart, and I started feeling a sense of enthusiasm for trying it. Here are her questions:

·        What makes you feel good? What activities, do you find fun, satisfying, or energizing?

·        What makes you feel bad? What are sources of anger, irritation, boredom, frustration, or anxiety in your life?

·        Is there any way in which you don’t feel right about your life? I rewrote this to ask, “What makes you feel right?” Does your life reflect your values?

·        Do you have sources of an atmosphere of growth? In what elements of your life do you find progress, learning, challenge, improvement, and increased mastery?

Rubin suggests that your resolutions will work better when they are concrete and measureable. She also warned that the hardest part wasn’t making the resolutions; it was following through and keeping them! On the other hand, she realized that even if she didn’t do her resolutions perfectly, she was doing better and that made her happier. The more she kept her resolutions, the happier she was.

I have noticed this to be true. I have started jotted down a few resolutions and although I haven’t done them perfectly, (not even close!), I feel better just because I am aware of them; they are in my consciousness now. For example, after identifying that being in a hurry makes me feel bad, one of my resolutions is to start getting ready 15 minutes earlier. No, I am not doing it perfectly. And despite, my good intentions, I was still late for work one day last week because I lost my phone. After spending my extra 15 minutes calling it with Rob’s phone, I finally discovered the familiar harp music ring tone emitting from the grocery cart in the garage.

But now, I’m aware how being in a hurry makes me feel bad, and having lots of time for my morning meditations, a long bath/shower, applying makeup, playing with my hair and choosing my outfit for the day make me feel good. So I’ll do better tomorrow. I have the rest of my life to do better!

She says that her resolutions chart is really her conscience. I like that. She says how glad she’ll be that she did everything within her power to appreciate the life she has now, just as it is. That inspired me.

I really like her simple principles on happiness:

·        If I think I’m happy, then I am happy.

·        One of the best ways to make myself happy is to make other people happy.

·        One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy myself.

I loved this, too:

The days are long, but the years are short.

Kind of makes you feel emotional, doesn’t it?

So, I got started with her first question:

What makes you feel good? What activities, do you find fun, satisfying, or energizing?

·        Being with my sweetie. Spending time together, our lives with each other. Growing up together. Growing old together.

·        Reading - novels, essays, the Rolling Stone, inspiring spiritual books, books that give me tools to have a happier, fuller life like The Happiness Project.

·        Walking and hiking. Being outside.

·        Spending a sunny afternoon in a lawn chair, preferably by water, with a cooler full of Diet Coke, Little Pink and a bag of books.

·        Going to cafes - baked goods, mochas, reading, writing, blogging, watching people.

·        Connecting with friends, especially laughing together.

·        Discovering new places; restaurants, cafes, theaters, little towns, shops, hiking trails.

·        Going for pretty drives with the top down.

·        Reading in my hammock.

·        Listening to music, especially live; rock and roll, classical, jazz – love it all.

·        Massages.

·        Choosing my outfit for the day.

·        Making a healthy tasty meal.

·        Creating experiences for people.

·        Singing with our band, Tridium, and the Threshold Choir.

·        Writing my blog and fitting pictures to the stories of my days.

·        Morning time – subliminal space, praying, meditating, journaling, staring at the candles, sipping coffee, petting the kitties.

·        Traveling – pulling off a major trip to Europe or somewhere really far away.

·        Finishing the book proposal. (almost)

·        Organizing! Cupboards, closets, clothes, books, toiletries, cleaning supplies, cards, gifts, drawers, storage bins, keeping only what I need and love. A clean orderly environment at work and home.

·        Just generally taking care of stuff. Sewing the button on my rain coat. Gluing the plate I dropped. Keeping the litter box clean.

·        Being caught up with correspondence; E-mails, cards, calls, attending to my relationships; my friends mean the world to me.

·        Using what I buy. Eating what’s in the refrigerator.

·        Nice, friendly interactions with people.

·        Getting really dressed up. Full make-up, hair, dangly earrings, sexy shoes, everything sparkly.  

·        The New Year. I love new beginnings.

 This is by no means an exhaustive list, but I’m getting started.

It just occurred to me that thinking about what makes me feel good and what makes me feel bad is kind of like the Ignatian discernment model I use in my spiritual direction process. Consolation is what makes me feel good and right in an atmosphere of growth. Desolation is what makes me feel bad. I am happiest when my actions flow out of the discernment of really knowing myself. And knowing my deepest desires is knowing God’s will – but that is a whole other blog post . .

Friends, I’d love to hear what makes you feel good?

Signing off from pretty Piedmont Park, Sunday afternoon, September 15, 2013.