Develop interest in
life as you see it; in people, things, literature, music – the world is so
rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting
people. Forget yourself. - Henry Miller
My heart
lifted when I saw that quote. For about
three years I’ve been working on a book, I’ve been calling, Vacation at Home, Cultivating Delight in the
Everyday. I will post several of my
ideas here; including the spirit of adventure, gratitude and love of
place, being authentic, staying curious, keeping it simple, creating systems
that liberate. . . the ecstasy of the inner life, embracing silence, listening
deeply, engaging passions, sustaining rituals, rotation of the seasons . . . live
music, movies, restaurants, theater, cafes, street life, energy and movement .
. .expedition days, weekends, spa days and sacred grooming . . . healing from a
debilitating health issue, retreats, books, reading, pots and more pots of tea . . . holiday rituals, entertaining, designing
experiences for others, re-creating home and moving the furniture on Memorial
Day, favorite places, vibrant colors, eccentric characters, different
identities, alternate stories, unlived lives . . .and keeping it fresh within
the core structures.
But my friend,
Val, (a real writer, yes, the real
thing) helped me to realize that all of this has been sourced by the core process
of re-inventing myself. I moved around a lot as a kid; grew up in several
grade schools, three junior highs and three high schools, all in various parts
of the country. I experienced a fair
amount of struggle and loneliness and self-consciousness trying to be clever
and interesting enough to get some new friends every year. Some years were good to me and some were
brutal, especially in that hypersensitive part of the journey called
adolescence. I got a little broken there,
but the strength and ingenuity I developed have served me through my life. I know how to re-invent myself. I’ve learned how to cultivate an awareness of
joy and beauty and recognized the angels who have helped me along the way.
I’ve rarely
chosen to move as an adult, only three
or four times, but each place has required me to re-invent myself depending on
the culture, the work, the friends, my identity, my age and the gifts in that
particular location. I’ve never thought
of myself as creative. But I realize
that moving through life itself is a creative process. The most recent move was from folksy Eugene,
Oregon to the Bay Area. Some things were
similar, like the progressive culture and the western vibe, but Oakland,
California is very different from Eugene; very different indeed. I didn’t want to go; I loved Eugene, I loved
my friends, I loved our home, I loved the trees, I loved the wild Oregon
Coast. But seminary and ordained
priesthood called to my husband, and I was part of the team. When you’re married, their dreams are your
dreams and their shit is your shit. (Thank
you, dear Judith for that quip.) I
worried about it for the two years before the move. Alas, anxiety is one of my struggles. But the day finally came and we loaded up all
of our stuff and sweet Sammy, (our orange tom), and hurtled down the coast until
we hit Berkeley.
I worked
through all the worry and moved down here with a decent attitude, thank
God. I immediately began to explore the area. It’s so big!
There’s so much to do! To
learn! To experience! I loved it here and have kept loving it to
this day. I am enraptured in a love
affair with the Bay Area! We’ve been
here for almost 15 years, the longest by far I’ve ever lived anywhere. I’ve had the same job for over 10 years, the
same husband for over 20, and most of the same friends. But lately I’ve been very aware of being
transplanted to a bigger pot where there is more room to expand my roots, my
relationships, my experiences and my vocation into greater meaning and purpose
as I get older. This has been a new
challenge without the forced geographic moves of my childhood. I see so many people’s lives get smaller as they
get older. But time is so precious, (much more precious than money), and life is
short and wondrous and it unfurls in its glory and its loveliness as I immerse
myself deeper and deeper. I invite you, dear reader, to join me on the journey
of reinventing self as we grow older, (not for the fainthearted!) in this wild,
beautiful place.
From my
journals, Oakland, California, March 31, 2012.
