SKIING AT TAHOE

 

 

I can still do it! It’s that sacred rhythm I love so much about skiing and I got it back after a couple of runs. I wouldn’t say that it’s exactly like riding a bike, but there was some vestige of muscle memory way down deep that I was thankfully able to access and it felt marvelous. 

However, I think my black diamond days may be over. 

Edie and I started on green for our first run, quickly moving to blue, but every time we rode up, I was itching to try that mogul hill beneath the chair lift. She warned that it looked pretty steep. “Oh, no”, said I, “I love moguls!” and off I went, turning eagerly at the top of the hill, toward the deadly “Little Dipper”, yelling over my shoulder, “I’ll see you down at the lift!” 



Me and Edie on the Slopes!

 Hmmmm. . . it’s taking a little longer to get my ski legs back on this one. Hmmm.. . . I think I may even be going over . . .down, down, down, I plunged into the snow . . . ok, not a bad one, I brush myself quickly and get  back to vertical. Hmmm. . . well, isn’t this interesting? I can’t seem to turn. What’s that about?  I remember being a pretty decent mogul skier in my day.  It must just be the heavy snow of Tahoe; I’m used to skiing in the powdery Rockies. . . . Oh, God. .. I really cannot turn in this stuff … BIG FALL! Both skis popping off kind of fall. A hat full of snow, goggles iced and fogged completely, a cold, wet sensation underneath my jacket kind of fall. Hmmm. . . do I even remember how to get my skies back on my feet? 

You have to understand I wasn’t scared. I wasn’t scared because I have no pride. I will cross the slope in a wide traverse snowplow, (aggravating anyone else who may be interested in actually skiing it), or heck, I’ll take the skis off and walk down if it actually comes to that.  So I waved up at Edie on her first ride above me on the chair lift, somewhat nonplussed and trying to appear optimistic. Her second pass found me on the ground, declaring, “This is clearly above my ability.”  By the time she rode above me on her comfortable chair lift for the third time, I briefly considered asking her to get the ski patrol.  

And then it happened - that magical moment of surrendering to reality.  I am 56. I have not skied in 20 years. I have not skied moguls in over 30 years. Yes, there was a time that I bounced through the bumps in Wyoming in my early 20’s but alas, I am no longer a hot dog. I wasn’t frustrated. I wasn’t even discouraged. I was gifted with some semblance of grace and gratitude that I can ski at all! I recognized that I am now a solid intermediate skier, (Edie assured me that my form was perfect), and I can enjoy that for the rest of my days. But you know those times when you’re just up against it? The aging process gets us all one way or another. I want to grow older well. I want to be able to just surrender in the middle of the mogul fields. I’m sure there will be more up ahead. . .

Me and Edie On the Deck

 

The guys were great.  Kevin and Rob were formally our “pit crew”, (coined by my good husband).  They drove us up to the hill, picked us up, carried our skies, helped us off with our boots (how did I ever get my own boots off?), drove us back home, eased me in the hot tub and cooked us dinner. Small correction:  Kevin cooked us dinner. That man can cook! Imagine coming home from skiing to the following meal:

• Salad with all sorts of goodies (and perfect vinaigrette).
• Rib eye steak with the bone removed (cooked a perfect medium rare, sizzling with butter).
• Mashed potatoes (with lumps).
• Spinach casserole (with buttery crumbs and cream).
• Fresh bread and butter. (just in case we needed more carbs)
• Chocolate (always a hit). 

View out our Window - Rob Droste

Three days of this! Eating and skiing and laughing and telling stories with good friends. What’s not to like? What a different world up there! That is something I absolutely love about California.  In the space of a few hours, one can be in a very different place. Compare the magnificence of Lake Tahoe, seen right out of our window, and up close on the slopes, with the grittiness of Telegraph Avenue in Oakland! I feel like I really got away. Skiing on that mountain seems almost surreal looking back on it. The bracing cold blew any cobwebs remaining from the vertigo clean out of my mind. Oh, good, gracious God, I skied again! I never thought I’d have the balance to do that a year ago. And I’ll have you all know that two short weeks later, my knees are finally beginning to bend again.

 

View out our Window - Rob Droste

 

 

 

 

Furthur!
Bill Graham Civic Auditorium, December 29, 2012

It was a gift from God. The whole thing from start to finish. Even walking to the Civic Center from the BART with that magnificent red and green building in front of us (the capitol?) on the wide walkway with manicured trees was wonderful; reminded me of Paris. I spotted the seats in the first balcony to the right of the stage and that was where I knew we were to sit. We toyed with the floor, but I felt certain those seats were a gift from God. And glory be! It turned out to be the loge – really the finest section in the house, any house. We moved ourselves into two of what we thought were empty seats, only to be escorted down to the very front row of the loge, view totally unobstructed and even a space to put our purses and water and put our feet up on when taking a rest.

Oh, how we had fun! Maureen was the perfect person to go with. She really gets it - -enjoys it like I do. We were treated like queens in the loge section. I love how safe I feel, there is not weird sexual energy, it's just a bunch of us misfits rocking and connecting through the music. The music and the vibe were magnified – amplified – it was truly a magical night. We felt so totally safe in our spot, a sweet little safe haven with all the other misfit Grateful Dead people around us – all of us knowing the music, loving the music – connecting through the music. I was truly transported to a wild, lovely place. What a great way to close out the year.

They opened with Not Fade Away and I truly thought I was in heaven from the get go. It was just one great song after another; Estimated Prophet, (California, preachin’ on the burning shore), Cassidy, Cumberland Blues (my favorite from Workingman’s Dead; Make good money five dollars a day), I Know You Rider – gonna miss me when I’m gone . .

The music was so tight and so good – there were even several I didn’t quite know but the vocals and the rhythms were so marvelous – I danced like there was no tomorrow. The change in rhythms within a song were truly masterful as only the Dead can do. They had hired some very good what I think are probably studio musicians; two Latin vocalists with superb voices. I always knew when they moved up to the microphone it was going to be great. They sang big anthem type choruses with the crowd singing along – let me tell you, The Dead are definitely back on their game.

My years of reading so much about music and watching documentaries really made it just that much more enjoyable for me. It’s fun watching how they signal each other – understanding how they’re boosting their sound, hiring first rate, young studio musicians. The keyboards tried too hard but that was my only complaint. The guitar players along with Bob Weir, Jeff Chimenti or John Kadlick? I think his name is, had the added bonus of a good voice. I'm telling you, the vocals were really excellent. The Dead has been sloppy and messy for awhile and I was happy to hear it.

And then leaving with Not Fade Away (My love is bigger than a Cadillac) again (interesting touch) and leaving us to sing them back to the stage with “you know my love won't fade away.” was just the perfect hail from the communal spirit.

A  Bracebridge Birthday

 

Celebrated annually since 1927, the Bracebridge Dinner transforms the Ahwahnee dining room in Yosemite into a 17^th century English manor for a feast of food, song and mirth; an elegant and artistic four-hour pageant of classic carols, Renaissance rituals and entertainment of the Middle Ages. http://www.thebracebridgedinneratyosemite.com/msin.html

 

A phone call early in the morning is rarely a good thing. The birthday began with our friend calling with much apology that they would not be joining us for the celebration. There had been a brutal colitis attack in the middle of the night and they would be going to the emergency room instead of meeting us in Yosemite. Everyone felt terrible and we were all very sad that they would not be with us for the festivities. Additionally, it was quite unfortunate that they were also slated to drive not only their dear selves, but also the Droste formal wear for the Bracebridge dinner and concert.

As you can well imagine, a lot of scrambling ensued during the early hours of December 20^th, my birthday. Several phone calls were placed, attempting to entice friends to come on up and use the tickets. We pieced together an outfit for me out of beautiful Joy’s wardrobe, but poor Rob was out of luck. As he tried on Jeff’s trousers and sport coat and I saw the hem gathered around the tips of his shoes, even I had to admit that it just wasn’t going to work.

Calls were frantically made to the Ahwahnee Hotel, (do you have extra formal wear for the dining room?) We briefly toyed with the idea of contacting the costumer of Bracebridge and turning Rob into an English squire. The Ahwahnee option petered out early and so did the squire idea. Was the only option left to drive five plus round trip hours to meet our friend halfway in Merced? Really?

I declared, “It’s time to pray!”

We prayed. We prayed out loud. We prayed hard.

I slowly began to let go. I was getting ready to surrender the whole thing. I really didn’t want my sweetie driving for most of the day on ice encrusted roads just to get clothes. I imagined other scenarios God might have planned for us. Maybe a slow drive around beautiful Yosemite with its unworldly winter light on the gray rock, followed by snuggling up in our room with a couple of holiday movies and lots to eat? And then, Rob’s cell phone rang, right in the middle of the prayer. Joe said YES!

I was so happy to unzip the wardrobe bag and see my rose lace dress of delicate beauty. I wore it on my 40^th birthday when Robbie and Franzie threw me and my new husband an elegant birthday party. (That’s what it said on the invitations, an Elegant Dinner Party.) That dress has good juju. And Rob looked every bit the handsome gentleman in his tux and tails. I’m even getting used to the beard with its flecks or silver and wisdom. Could this man really be my husband? After celebrating twenty-one birthdays with him, I’m still excited that he’s mine!

We arrived at the Ahwahnee soon thereafter and he gave me my gift in the Great Room as we sat by the enormous fire. I opened the pretty little box and . . . oh, boy - - Lucy jewelry! And it perfectly matched my dress!

Lucy Jewelry

Joe strode into the gift shop with his fine brocade vest, red cowboy ribbon tied neatly in a bow and long, grey curls flowing out of his cowboy hat. He’s a cowboy/actor/musician from South Dakota; the real thing. I admired him for dropping everything at the last minute, gathering up our clothes and hurtling down the road in his Yosemite.

I do believe that the Bracebridge dinner and performance is the most glorious holiday event in the country - - maybe even the world! I knew every note of the four hours of music, having prepared by listening to it in Little Red driving to work and writing cards and wrapping presents at home.

Our friend, Joy, has performed with Bracebridge for years now and this year she was promoted to manager of the whole extravaganza. She was resplendent in her blue finery and jewels singing The Cantique de Noel in a quartet right at our table.

My favorite part was the magnificent peacock slowly processed down the long hall of the Ahwahnee dining room, followed by my favorite course of sumptuous “peacock” (duck confit) strudel/pie. My second favorite was the plum pudding and the French chef bemoaning forgetting the plum, but not the rum! (or the brandy).

Have you ever tasted plum pudding dear reader? Oh, my goodness! The closest comparison is an ever-moist slice of carrot cake, but better, each bite sublime. The men at the table positively moaned at the baron of beef. Picture Karla and four dapper gentlemen seated at the performer’s table right up front. Could a girl even ask for a better birthday?

Joe got another great big gift for saying yes. In addition to the Bracebridge dinner, due to an overbooking, he was placed in the special Ahwahnee suite, with a panoramic view of the waterfall and brilliant Yosemite granite. Joe, Jeff, Rob and I celebrated in style after the show, gathering around a robust fire, sipping rich red wine, laughing and sharing stories.

And if all this was not enough, God had one more present for me to top off the evening. Jeff persuaded the entire cast to sing Happy Birthday to me after the show! It was a moment I will never forget. If you’ve never had over fifty professional choristers sing you Happy Birthday, let me assure you that it was a peak experience. Put it on your bucket list.

Joy, Jeff, Joe and Rob, how can I think you enough? You gave me one of the finest birthdays I’ve ever celebrated. It was a wonderful beginning to my 56^th year on the planet.

A Very Happy Birthday Girl!

 

 

 

 

Post 12/14/12

From my journals this morning, December 16, 2012

There has been a terrible tragedy in our nation. Twenty small children and seven adults were shot and killed by a mad man/boy in a leafy Connecticut town, sixty miles or so from New York City. A collective grief hangs over us that recalls our personal grief and violence some of us have suffered over the years. I find myself sad and anxious underneath the festivities of the holidays. Why isn’t anyone talking about it at social occasions? "It’s all different now!", my insides scream.

I was going to write about gift giving. Maybe later.

Where are you God? In the response? In that sweet line of children, each with one hand upon the other’s shoulder, as you led them out of the fire of violence and darkness? I looked at each of their faces; some twisted with fear, mouths open, eyes crinkled in terror, some absolutely blank as they filed out of that school, all silently obeying the grounded and capable policewoman guiding them, doing what they were told. Lining up like that in that chaos! It tore my heart out.

God, were you in the courage of those two women, the principal and the counselor, the first to meet him in the hall, trying to fend him off? Were you that teacher who died, throwing herself over those tiny bodies? Did you gather the small ones and huddle with them in a corner, seeking safety under the shadow of your wings?

Were you in the red, tired eyes I saw in church this morning as a group of faithful people at All Saints Episcopal church in San Leandro lined up for communion? Were you in my husband who spoke with courage, compassion and clarity to a badly shaken congregation? I made a note to myself after the sermon:

Let us respond oh sisters and brothers!

Let us respond with as much love as we can muster from our broken hearts.

Winter and the Holidays

 

Our Mantle, December, 2012

 

 I’m so quietly joyous. I have a soul-deep peace. I love this room. Our home. It is early Sunday morning. I awoke refreshed at 6:30 am. I have the whole day to just be. It is so very quiet. I treasure our hushed sanctuary. Bright winter sunlight floods the room and fills me with ecstasy. I love these sparkly pillows I put out for the holidays that gleam in the light, transforming our everyday couch and making it special. This whole season is special, magical, infused with glitter and beauty. Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy.

Journal Entry from Oakland, 11/29/07

Love Seat in the Christmas Nest

We have a ritual on the day after Thanksgiving that I look forward to all year.  It’s time to put up the tree! Oh, glory! The system we have created over the years makes it easy and fun. We know we’re always going to be off work the day after Thanksgiving, and this way it’s all done and we can enjoy our beautifully decorated home for the rest of the season. Sometimes we even start our Christmas cards. It mystifies me why anyone would want to spend such a special day shopping amidst the frenzied, bargain-seeking crowds.

Our Christmas Tree!

 

This year we began the process on Thanksgiving Day. We hauled up the holiday decoration boxes from storage and began the ritual of creating our beloved Christmas nest. We put on the Messiah for the first listen of the year as I slowly unwrapped the ornaments, one by one, and handed them to Rob, who is much better at hanging ornaments than Karla. He hangs things; garlands, ornaments, etc. and I lay things, velvets and silk scarves on every flat surface and add little glittery touches everywhere.

 

It is a joy to unpack each snow globe, each angel, the rich velvet table linens and the nativity scene Lucy and Charlie brought us back from Mexico.  Every ornament is special and carries a memory of the past. One of my favorites is Reindeer Sammy, a small, sweet little orange cat with the horns of a reindeer that my spiritual director gave me the year Sammy, our orange tabby, died.  He gets a prime spot on my Christmas altar, along with the Queen of Hearts, ‘Neasie gave me one year and my tiny white, saucy angel, and the special stained glass candle holders from Paris, all laying on a burgundy beaded table runner.  I love it, love it, love it all! Our ritual marks the beginning of this sacred, sparkly, magical season.

Reindeer Sammy, 'Neasie's Queen of Hearts, Saucy Angel

Nativity Scene from Charlie and Lucy ( Note baby Kitty with Baby Jesus!)

  

One of the finest nights of the year is sitting still together on our couch, in front of the magnificent tree, a fire crackling, candles lit, listening to quiet choral music and savoring our efforts. I love our home! She looks so beautiful all decorated in her Victorian holiday splendor. I gaze around our home, looking forward to the season ahead of us. It is magical and special, unlike any other time of year.

Kitty Among the Foliage

The Joy of Movement – Power Walking 

Walking clears my head, fills my lungs with fresh air, lets off steam, builds up my strength and centers my spirit. --Sarah Ban Breathnach

I have always been a walker. Thoreau says “It requires a direct dispensation from heaven to be a walker.” I love everything about walking! I like the simplicity of it and the lack of complicated gear. I mostly like that I can walk right out my door and begin. And power walking is a very special form of walking that speeds up the heart rate, puts power in the body and wind through the hair. 

I power walk everywhere! I power walk to the bank, to the post office, to the grocery store, to Carrie’s house and to the beauty supply shop. I grab my IPOD and power walk around Lake Merritt, an urban oasis right down the block.

Link: http://reinventingkarla.blogspot.com/2012/10/rotation-of-seasons-gardens-at-merritt.html 

I throw my chest out, I smile, I pound my arms to the music, and generally have myself a grand time of it. Rob calls me a dork, a cute dork, but a dork just the same. What the hay! I’m having a great time and it’s good for me!   

I am invigorated and happy with the fresh air on my cheeks, pumping my arms and my legs, in rhythmic motion, taking in the trees and the water and all the interesting people and their dogs as I motor by.  

Music is a really fun part of the power walk. A hopelessly late adopter, I would never have an IPOD if it weren’t for Christmas and Rob, (good man). I highly recommend it for walking. The music adds zeal and energy to the whole business. An hour combining the Stones, Aerosmith, AC/DC, The Who and power walking can energize me for the rest of the weekend. I can be seen on most Saturdays walking around Lake Merritt, bobbing my head to the rhythm and punching the air to particularly good lyrics - sometimes I pull off the trail and dance in the trees . . . (I love the anonymity of the city.)  

Ah, there is such an ecstasy in movement . . .

I grab my purple tennis shoes, IPOD, cell phone and a little money and power walk to the video store, the Farmer’s Market, friend’s homes, cafés, (rewarding myself with a baked good of course) and cutesy shopping districts. I explore new neighborhoods, bookstores and boutiques. Sometimes I catch up on my phone calls. It’s like taking a walk with a friend.   

I was into walking through Mountain View Cemetery during the worst days of the vertigo. I would walk all the way up there from Lake Merritt and stride through the hushed quiet Piedmont sunshine, comforted and soothed by all who have lived before me. It gave me hope to still be able to walk, no matter how dizzy. God, help me, don’t take that away from me, too.  

I remember sitting in the sun when Karen told me that Boe was in the hospital. I went everyday and prayed for her family. I explored the Chapel of the Chimes and meditated in a mystical room with a fountain. I found John Lee Hooker. Way cool. 

Perhaps the most exciting power walk found me high above the city on the Promenade Plantée in Paris. Let's just say that power walking on the Promenade Plantée is analogous to skiing in the Alps.

Link: http://reinventingkarla.blogspot.com/2012/07/aperfect-day-square-trousseau-ble-sucre.html

I prefer walking to driving or even cycling these days. Moving more slowly through the world, I see into the life of things, (thank you Wordsworth).

 

Here in the present moment,

One step at a time,

I have found peace.

 

 

Gratitude During the Holidays

Making the Season Sparkle

Waking up this morning, I see the blue sky.

I join my hands in thanks

For the many wonders of life

For having twenty-four brand new hours before me.

- - Thich Nhat Hanh

 

What if you could not only survive the holidays but actually enjoy this time of year?  Can you imagine yourself looking forward to this season, moving through it with ease?  Recent research by leading psychologists says you can.  UC Davis, researcher, Robert Emmons, PhD, in this year’s book, Thanks!  How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier, says emphatically that being thankful actually amplifies the good; the good things in our lives, the good people in our lives and even the good in ourselves.  What better time than the holidays to practice these skills – and get feelings that will really last all year! 

Recognize the Gifts 

In his research with thousands of people, Emmons showed clearly that we can strengthen the ability to recognize the gifts in life.  We can, over time, learn to better notice the beauty around us, to ground ourselves in that beauty.  We can learn how to slow down and savor the goodness.  There is so much beauty during the holiday season to relish and enjoy; the lights, ornaments, candles in a window and childrens’ faces.  

 

We learn to recognize not only the gift, but also the person who gave us the gift.  We grow to understand that many people have helped us along the way, providing us with what we couldn’t do for ourselves.  We no longer take people for granted.  We realize that we are deeply connected with the people in our past and present.  They have helped bring us where we are today.   

Gratitude – An Approach to Life 

Gratitude is more than just a feeling.  We can experience just being grateful.  Practicing gratitude is an overall approach to life. We are learning to see through a different lens; a lens of abundance rather than scarcity. We can’t be anxious, (envious, angry, worried, etc.) and grateful at the same time.  Gratitude is an attitude consciously cultivated; an orientation, that can eventually can become a habit.   

The Daily Gratitude Inventory (DGI) 

Charles M. Shelton Ph.D,  has developed a Daily Gratitude Inventory (DGI), a written, daily examination of the gifts and blessings in our lives. Writing encodes positive experiences in our memory.   This practice helps us to become more aware of our blessings. It may be helpful to break down the day’s events in the following categories:

The Everyday 

Enjoy your senses during the holidays.  Taste the varieties of food, lovingly prepared; delight in the tiny white lights strung along the streets; revel in the deep winter colors, the sumptuous velvets and rich brocades.  Celebrate the changing of the seasons and create rituals that fulfill and sustain you.  Bring out the flannel sheets, the fire logs and the candles.  Savor the beauty of the world around you.  Move slowly through the feast.

People and Relationship 

We gather with friends and family during the holidays and feel deeply connected with those we love.  We feel a sense of belonging.  We go out at night; we visit each other in our homes; we dress up and go out on the town, we enjoy good entertainment.  We connect with some of the people in our lives only once a year around this time.  Plan ahead for the holidays, scheduling events you look forward to with people you enjoy.  Feel your affection for the people you love.   

The Big Picture 

As you focus on your life, take the long view.  This is a good time of year to reflect over the past year.  Focus on what was good.  Was there a difficult situation you handled well?  Did you exhibit a strength or talent this year that was helpful to another person or to your organization?  Was there an experience that helped you to grow?  Did you receive an insight or an understanding that changed you for the better?

 

Taking in the Good

Another suggested gratitude practice has been developed by Berkeley researcher, Rick Hansen, Ph.D. The practice of taking in the good uses your mind to change your brain to change your mind for the better.  It has been shown that practicing gratitude actually changes the brain chemistry.  Hansen maintains that as your mind changes your brain changes.  “Neurons that fire together wire together”.  Gratitude practices have been proven to strengthen existing synapses and actually thicken the frontal cortex, building new synapses. Directing attention skillfully is a fundamental way to shape the brain and one’s life over time.

• Look for positive facts and let them become positive experiences.  Let yourself feel good if you get something done, if someone is nice to you, or if you notice a good quality in yourself.

 

• Savor the positive experience and sustain it for 10-20-30 seconds.  Try to let it fill your body, and be as intense as possible. 

• Intend and sense that the positive experience is soaking into you, like water into a sponge, becoming a part of you. 

• Do this several times a day.  The more you take in the good, the more your brain will change for the better. 

The good news is the more we practice gratitude, the more often we experience it and the deeper we experience it.  Being thankful is a choice, we can make in any given moment.  Take the time to relish and savor the gifts in your life this holiday season. 

Further Reading

 Sarah Ban Breathnach, The Simple Abundance Journal of Gratitude. 

Robert A. Emmons Ph.D , Thanks!  How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier. 

The Greater Good Science Center, UC Berkeley, An interdisciplinary research center helping to foster a more resilient and compassionate society. 

Thich Nhat Hanh, Buddhist monk, teacher, author. 

Rick Hansen Ph.D, Buddha’s Brain:  The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom. 

Charles M. Shelton, Ph.D,  Achieving Moral Health:  An Exercise Plan for Your Conscience. 

Br. David Steindl Rast, Gratefulness, the Heart of Prayer.