Re-inventing Life

Rotation of the Seasons

From Clip Art, Alas, not Me!

I went to a lovely park in Piedmont last Sunday while Rob was at the Raiders game. It was a small, dog-walking kind of park, approximately seven miles from my home, nestled so deep into a neighborhood I didn’t even know it was there! I walked a bit and found a bench in the late afternoon sun; that barely warm, golden-lit, late autumn afternoon kind of sun.

 

I had that Sunday evening kind of feeling; maybe a bit melancholy, dreamy, weekend coming to a close kind of feeling. The longer I sat, the more I could feel the hope of a new season rising in my heart.  The light through the treetops filled me with the anticipation of something new. The rotation of the seasons is part of the whole cycle of death and resurrection. I felt connected again.

The rotation of the seasons mirrors the journey I’ve had healing from the vertigo. Mary Catherine Bateson in her book, Composing a Life, refers to living one’s life as an improvisatory art, including repeated re-direction, and re-definition of identity.  

Re-invention and continual re-definition is really what this blog is about. I’m coming to realize that as much as I love the concept of vacation at home, it is broader than that. The vertigo was a life-changing experience that redefined my very identity.  I’ve experienced nothing short of a personal death and resurrection. The changing of my season is coming fully back into life. 

My life feels even more enhanced, renewed. My experiences in both Paris and Yosemite have yielded even a deeper joy than I had felt before. And this joy spills into everyday life. But it's not only joy. Now I am experiencing the whole palette of emotion. I'm not as scared of pain or loneliness as I used to be. It's all part of the rotation of the seasons.

And I’m also realizing that just like the seasons, there is a steadiness down deep – an essence of Karla that is constant.  It doesn’t matter what I do for work, whether I’m sick or healthy, who I’m with or where I live.  There lies deep beneath the surface a truth.  I can count on it. I want nothing more in life than to accompany each other as we find the anchor of our own essence and soar from there.

Mary Catherine Bateson tells us that the undiscovered self is an unexpected resource.  I can think of no life purpose as meaningful as walking side by side with you as we discover our mutual unexpected resources.