VERTIGO – Part 2

There was another bad one in September.  It happened at work.  I had stayed late to answer the phone for a chaplain request.  Thank God, I did the intake. I will always maintain that phone call saved my life.  I would have been driving when the spinning hit. Good CJ was there as I dropped to the floor and crawled out to the hall.   I was flat on that carpet for a long time, scared to get up.  Would there be two pictures on the wall again?  Oh, God, help me – NO God! -  Not again.  Finally CJ gingerly helped me to the couch in my office, (not sure why I didn’t go there in the first place).  Marcia came and held my hand with tears in her eyes.  Rob came, good steady man, walked me slowly, slowly to the car and took me home and tucked me in bed.  God bless him, he made me one of his famous smoothies with lots of half and half, fruit and yogurt for dinner.  That was all I could manage in those first weeks.  It only lasted an hour, but that aftershock shook my confidence badly.

Thanks to the internet, I know everything about vestibular disorders there is to know.  I know the difference between BPVV, Meniere’s disease, Labyrinthitis, cerebellar clamps, acute compensation and ataxic gaits.  I’ve read all about the complicated system of communication between the nerves of the inner ear and the brain.  I went to a neurologist who tested me for Lyme disease, Vitamin B-12 deficiency and syphilis. (negative).  He ordered a MRI.  Dear reader, if you ever get something you think could be serious (and hopefully you have insurance), God, help you, GET THE MRI!  The results of my MRI ruled out the scary stuff, like a brain tumor or MS.  The MRI gave me great peace of mind.  After the MRI, everything inside me changed. I didn’t have anything life threatening.  I wasn’t going to die.

My neurologist, Dr.  Joshua Kuluva is the best doctor I’ve ever had.  I get kind of emotional about it.  I knew he was different, because he asked me questions and actually listened.  I was shocked at how much of my life we covered in that initial 45 minute appointment.   We talked about all the moves as a child.  We even talked about my dad.  He treated me as a whole person.  I walked out of there feeling hopeful, even safer somehow, knowing I was in expert hands.  He encouraged me to keep a calendar.  Bless my heart, I kept that calendar faithfully for over three months.  I began to see patterns with my dizziness.  For example, it got worse if I was in a hurry.  Or if I was stressed or frustrated about something.  Or if I didn’t get enough sleep.  Or if Trader Joe’s was just too crowded.  I continue to see the great Dr. Kuluva to this day.  I walk out of every appointment with fresh insights and hope.  I will be forever grateful to Dr. Joshua Kuluva. 


I did everything I could to make myself well.  In addition to Dr. Kuluva, I went to several other specialists, including an Ear, Nose and Throat, specialist, known as an otolaryngologist. The best part of that appointment was finding out I have the “hearing of a teenager”, (really?  after all those rock concerts?), and I finally got a diagnosis.  I didn’t have BPVV.  I didn’t have Meniere’s disease. I had a condition called vestibular neuritis.  A nasty virus had attacked one of the vestibular nerves in my inner ear that fateful morning.  Those nerves are crucial for determining your whole orientation.  They are the pathways communicating balance with the brain. 


Ok, so now I have a diagnosis.  When will it go away?


After waiting for three months to get in, I went to a hot shot doctor specializing in post-menopausal disorders.  She gave me an estrogen patch, that I dutifully changed twice a week, but it didn’t put a dent in the dizziness. (or the insomnia).  I tried multiple doses of Advil, antihistamine, (could it be that simple?) and even acyclovir (after spotting an obscure reference to herpes on the internet).   I learned about organic problems vs. functional problems.  The otolaryngologist suspected an overlying stress component. Oh, God, could this really be all in my mind?  Am I like the chronic fatiguers, seasonal affective disorderers, allergy prone, scent sensitive Berkeley types?  Could that now be me?


I even printed out several diagrams of the inner ear and meditated on the health of that myriad of nerves governing my balance.  I talked with complete strangers who had similar conditions.  I learned about CST and vibrational yoga and acupuncture.  I heard promises from a chiropractic neurologist and his brain-time training tapes.  I kept meticulous files.  I was still dizzy.


I was in physical therapy for months, faithfully learning exercises to retrain my brain and experimenting with several head repositioning techniques.  I tried the Epley, the Hallpike, Brandt-Darnoff and Semont maneuvers and the Hawthorne eye exercises.   I went to an experimental workshop for people with neurological disorders.  The researcher gave us a vest with weights attached to different parts of the body.  I am haunted to this day by that beautiful black man with multiple sclerosis, guided by his loyal, steady girlfriend as he walked unsteadily across the room in his vest with Velcro weights.  The other guy had Parkinson’s.  That got me grateful real quick, let me tell you.  I went home and Rob piled every heavy Bible and Dictionary we have in the house on top of my stomach because they said that weight can ground me. 


I love Marcella Larondo, my physical therapist.  She never gave up on me.  She listened to me.  She patiently taught me all of those exercises. I still have the tongue depressors she made for me with the green dot. (Move your eyes, back and forth, side to side, up and down, focusing on that green dot.) She assured me that I was the type of personality that would heal from this.  I was not a depressive victim.  I had energy.  I had spirit.  I had optimism and hope.  Bless her, angel, Marcella.


And bless my earnest heart.  I have so much compassion for myself reviewing all this material preparing to write about it.  I really tried everything.  I never lost hope.


It all helped.  But I was still dizzy.